Since this is a creative outlet nobody looks at I'm going to use this. I have been really sad lately, and I have been asking for people to hang out with me. Since I haven't come out and said that I'm sad, nobody really understands how much I need them. It sucks feeling like I need to ask for help because I don't want to be a bother.
But the worst part is that I don't want to seem like a drama queen, the whole situation I'm in could have been avoided if I knew how not to fall in love with someone.
See, there is a guy that I really really like, but he has to go back home (which is Japan) so I might never see him again.
I can't tell him I like him because I don't want to be a burden. If I tell him and he doesn't like me, he'd feel bad (because he has given me clear signs that he could like me back), and if he likes me back, he still has to leave.
If I don't tell him, I have to lock up those feelings and try to move on. Which I am trying to do, but I have spent about two and a half weeks putting on a happy face that is apparently not as good as I thought, seeing as my boss can tell I'm not happy.
I'm worried that I'm only gonna get worse because he leaves on the 17th.
For now, I try to distract myself with things like work and school and people. But when I don't work of have class, there isn't anyone here so I try to get people to hang out. But as I've said, lots of people are busy with things like work or cleaning.
I don't want to be a crybaby but it's not easy putting on a show for people and I wish I didn't have to. You know when people ask "how are you?" They never expect an honest answer, but that's the one I want to give. Nobody really wants to actually hear the drama anyway.
Anyway, thanks for the read. For those of you that did read it.
I appreciate any reads I didn't expect to get.
