Once again a late night post about the crappyness that is growing up.
This time it's about how people handle talking to someone who has never been in a relationship all their life.
People always say things like "don't rush" and "it'll happen when you're ready" but after several years of having crushes that get you nowhere, it gets harder and harder to see the truth in what they say.
Not saying I need someone in my life to justify anything, because I don't.
But don't I? I was teased as a kid all the time by boys, it really sticks with you regardless of shaking it off. Makes that stupid small voice perk up when I'm not the happiest and that never helps.
I feel pretty some days, and other days I just feel like everyone thinks I'm hideous... I know I'm not the only person who feels like this sometimes, but when I get in a mood like that, it is generally when people say those "words of encouragement". To me, they seem more like a confirmation that I'm not pretty enough, or that I'm to weird to be in a relationship.
Thing is, I admit to being a complete nutter, but really I'm not that bad.
So then what else could it be? I know not everyone is shallow, but we all judge based on what we see on the surface at first, if people can't get past it, how will they know I'm a good person?
Any time someone tries to get close I raise all my walls and basically bring out the barbed wire and sarcasm armed tanks because I always question why they would ever be interested in me.
So yeah, telling me " I'll find someone when I'm ready" doesn't help, because I have been ready.
I have a pattern of falling for people who I later learn are in a relationship or are emotionally unavailable. So telling me not to rush won't help either because I didn't rush once, then he ended up with someone else.
Yeah....
